In a previous post, I talked a lot about the business adventures I’ve been involved in. While I’ve had some tremendously brilliant ideas, I’m not always good at putting them to practice. I like to blame it on bad luck (buying riding lawn mowers in bulk to resell just before the worst drought in Texas history hit and everybody’s lawn died), but the truth is I have been known to outright make poor business decisions. If you’re looking for good business advice, you’re reading the wrong blog. I can, however, share with you some excellent tips if you have a strong desire to lose some of your hard earned money. Because I love you, my loyal readers (all 4 of you), I now give you 10 ways to lose money in business.
10. Don’t follow up with potential clients. If they say “call me back in one week when I get paid”, they’re probably lying. Don’t waste the two minutes it will take to call back or write an email asking if they are still interested.
9. Take advantage of buying inventory in bulk even though you will only actually sale five units. $200 is a great price for 350 infant onesies. That’s like 57 cents each and you’ll make a killing on the order of three you just received.
8. When negotiating, the other guy always has the upper hand. If you want $50 for a watch that is clearly worth $75, go ahead and accept an offer of $40 because, what the hell, you’re only losing $10.
7. Trust the guy that is offering you a deal that seems too good to be true. “I know these riding lawn mowers are worth $600 each, but I’m going to sell you all 8 for $1,000!”
6. Make business decisions based on emotion rather logic. You’ve always wanted an iPod Touch, so go ahead and trade a fully functional laptop for it (even though the laptop is worth twice as much).
5. Spend money on marketing that no one will ever see. It’s just fun to spend hours in Adobe creating a logo for your business and it’s totally worth it to print out 1,500 flyers at Kinkos even though they will sit in a box under your bed while you lose interest and move onto your next venture.
4. Overhead is irrelevant when quoting a price for service. Receiving payment of $200 to deliver a couch to a client in Houston is fantastic, even though it cost $180 in gas to make the trip.
3. Go ahead and spend your money before you make it. Hell yea we’re going out tonight! It’s fine to spend the money because my potential customer said to call him back next week when he gets paid.
2. Take on more work than you can handle and then overpay workers to help you get it done quickly. Who cares that you only profited $50 on a large landscaping job that took two days to complete. You made $50!
And finally…The absolute best way to lose your hard earned money…
1. Liquidate because you really need the cash to go out tonight. If you paid top dollar for merchandise that you absolutely can’t move to save your life, sell it for at least half of what you paid. At least it’s off your hands and you have cash in your pocket!
***If these reasons don’t offer good enough advice on how to lose your money, or you feel you should be able to lose your money faster, please feel free to send me your money. I need the cash because I’m going out tonight! OK…I’ll wait for you to get paid next week. ***