Twitter is Way too Fast Paced For Me

I seriously cannot keep up. It’s rare that I actually make it to the top of the page waiting for someone to tweet because I’m usually about 6 hours behind, and for every tweet that I read, another three pop up. I can’t imagine finding the time to keep up with new tweets on a constant basis. I would literally have to be focused entirely on my iPhone, with nothing else going on around me. And I only follow 110 people!

To actually get involved in a conversation is a whole different sack of scrotum. For me, it’s like trying to merge onto the highway when you’re at a dead stop on the side of the road. Getting a response to something I said is so difficult, that I sometimes resort to having a conversation with myself. True story.

I so envy the people who come up with these really funny and witty tweets that others respond to in masses. There really is an art to it. To compose a message that fully gets your point across while entertaining your audience in 140 characters is amazing to me. I could announce that I have a million dollars cash to give to the first person who acknowledges my twitter existence, and I would get crickets (kinda like my Craigslist post where I attempted to have my readers come up with a #10 and I got a better response reading the post to the dog…awkward!). I guess that’s why I only have 43 followers.

Or maybe I’m just not doing it right.