Waitresses Have it Made

Waitresses have a FAR greater advantage than waiters when it comes to getting good tips. It’s just not fair!

If you’re a waiter, you have to focus on working your ass off to impress anyone who comes in and sits in your section. You must stay on top of your table’s every desire and work feverishly to make sure they are totally happy and you will most likely get the standard 15% tip. The only exception is if you look like George Clooney, and you are waiting on a group of women. Then you may get 17%.

If you’re a waitress, you just have to look cute and smile a lot. No matter who sits in your section, you’re quality of tips depend on how much you can get the guy at the table to like you. If a group of dudes come in, then it’s in the bag! All you have to do is lean in too close, take an extra glance at the quiet one, and act like you are SO excited to have the pleasure of waiting on these chumps. Without much effort you’re already looking at least a 30% tip. The only exception is if you get a group of bitchy women who are obviously immune to your charming smile, but you can still expect the standard 15% no matter what.

This is why I could never make a living waiting tables. Or maybe I was just a bad waiter. That’s probably it.

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